This post will probably lose me my membership in the "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy", but that's okay, because the meetings have been pretty boring lately. I would like for someone -- anyone -- to explain to me why the government should have any say in marriage at all?
I want a thorough explanation of why government -- which, frankly, has done nothing but de-sanctify marriage and turn it into a simple economic contract -- should be the determinant of what constitutes marriage?
Don't get me wrong, I am a FIRM believer in the biblical basis of marriage as a covenant relationship between one man and one woman, consecrated by God, blessed by Jesus Christ, whose example is set by Christ's relationship to His Church. I am firmly committed to the doctrine that marriage is a union of two souls that become one. I abhor the very idea of divorce, although I do recognize a limited number of conditions (four, by the way: abuse, abandonment, adultery, and abortion) where divorce can be justified. I believe the marriage vows -- taken and committed to before God and our family -- are serious committments that not only bind husband and wife, but those who witness those vows.
But what does the government have to do with that? In other words, I believe that marriage is a private and personal committment made between two people before God and their family and friends. Government should have no involvement in defining, establishing, endorsing (or attacking) the marriage relationship.
Yes, that means I don't believe in tax cuts for "married couples". It also means I don't believe in special rights -- like rights of inheritance, rights of visitation, etc. I would even throw away the prohibition of spousal testimony. All of these "rights" are not really rights but privileges, and all can be effected through simple contract law. In other words, since Government has merely decided to turn marriage into a simple economic contract -- exhibited by our patently stupid divorce laws in this country --- Government should have no more influence over marriage than they would in any other contract.
I do not believe for one minute that Government allowing different definitions of "marriage" to exist would do any more harm to marriage than the Government has already done and will continue to do. Quite frankly, the only people that destroy a marriage are married people. If you want to argue that to allow gay marriage, or polygamy, or polyamory has a negative impact on your marriage, then you must also agree that your neighbors with the lousy heterosexual marriage of convenience is just as destructive. But we don't do that, because we live in a culture that has decided that marriage is a personal, private matter and that no one should tell a couple they can't divorce or separate.
So why should Government be able to tell two people (or three, or four, or so on) how they structure their lives? Please show me in the Constitution of the United States of America the exact article, section, and line where this power was granted?
Does this power also mean that Government could redefine marriage to compel you to marry? Or compel you to marry a specific person? Should Government have the power to prevent you from marrying that woman or man because you are not "genetically compatible"? What power have I delegated to the Government empowers them to tell me what "acceptable marriage" is? Because a Government that is powerful enough to tell me who I can marry is powerful enough to force me to marry who they think is acceptable.
So why does Government have this interminable power?
But let me also say this: if the radical GLBT groups in this country think that attacking churches and minorities and religious organizations is the smart way to make this fight, you are sadly mistaken. At best, you constitute seventeen percent of the population. And -- I am sorry to use the stereotype -- very few of you own enough guns to win that war. Jumping from an orderly democratic process and debate to violence and aggressive civil disobedience is only going to end badly for you.
And, trying to co-opt the civil rights movement and claim moral equality there is a really bad move. The simple, unchangeable fact of history is that while you have indeed faced discrimination for your lifestyle, you have never faced slavery, bondage, and kidnapping. You were never owned as property. You were never accounted for as property. You were never bought and sold on a platform in Annapolis, or Fells Point, or York, PA. You were never herded into cattle cars at the Freeland, MD siding. And the US Constitution has never claimed you amounted to no more than 3/5 of a person.
If the social issue conservatives (and I count myself as one of these) want to preserve the notion of marriage, you don't do that through Government. Some jackass in Annapolis or Washington is no more qualified to help your marriage than they are to teach your children the ABCs. If you want to preserve the historical and biblical notion of marriage, you should start doing it in your families and your churches and your communities.
Marriage isn't destroyed by gays and lesbians wanting to make loving commitments to each other; it's being destroyed by heterosexuals who act like marriage is just another check box on a "to-do list of a life" or another step on the ladder of life. It's being destroyed by people who act like marriage is just a job that you can change when you don't like it anymore or it doesn't meet your expectations. It's being destroyed by people who are willing to trade in spouses like they trade in cars or flip houses.
If you want to preserve and strengthen marriage, then preserve and strengthen it. Don't rely on the Government to do something it is wholly unqualified and unable to do.