Feckless Peanut Farmers

The Feckless Peanut Farmer is at it again, trying to boast about his successful diplomacy with Iran.  In an interview with Ed Walsh of Boston's WBZ-AM, the FPF even calls them "his" hostages.

From "Best of the Web":

Walsh: And finally on Iran, what if they continue to defy world opinion and develop a nuclear weapon capability? What should the United States do about it?

Carter: Well, first of all, I think we should be communicating with the Iranians directly, through diplomatic means. Even after the shah was overthrown, we still maintained diplomatic relations with Iran--in fact, that's proven by the fact that my hostages were in Tehran. They had an equal number of diplomats in Washington, about 75 or so, and we should be communicating with them. And secondly, we should assure them that we don't intend to launch a pre-emptive war against them as we did in Iraq. But there are a lot of threats coming out, and that tends to put the Iranians on the defensive and make them want to do everything they can to build up their weaponry. So communicating with them and letting them know that we'll resolve their difference--differences diplomatically would be my recommendation.

But the facts of history tell a much different story.

As Mark Bowden showed in his seminal piece "Guests of the Ayatollah", the Iranians saw James Earl Carter as feckless, weak, and stupid. (Yes, stupid).  They refused to deal with him seriously until AFTER his drubbing by Ronald Reagan*.  It was only then that they agreed to meet wtih Warren Christopher (yes, later Clinton's SecState) to negotiate the release.  But what prompted the release of the hostages?

It wasn't the potential of an American military rescue.  Desert One had proved that America's military was incapable of launching any such strike to retrieve the hostages.  And Carter's incompetence in handling the afternmath of Desert One showed he wasn't up to the task.

No, what prompted the Iranians to suddenly meet with Warren Christopher was the realization that if Americans were killed in the War with Iraq-- all hell would break loose. (Iraqi MiG 23's had attacked Tehran on the first day of the war in September and had come close to hitting hostages being held at the Tehran airport).

By November, the Iraqi invasion had stalled, but the Iranians were aware that Iraq had chemical weapons AND long range artillery.  Suddenly, the reality of holding American hostages -- and being responsible for their safety -- was readily apparent.

So the Iranians decided to negotiate when Carter was beaten.  Christopher spent most of Christmas and early January 1981 trying to work a deal to get the hostages home, but the Iranians refused.  Why?  They wanted the ultimate insult directed at Carter.  The hostages would be released at 12:01pm on Inauguration Day.

That was Carter's diplomacy for "his hostages":  they were held for 444 days because they Iranians rightly thought he was a "cocksucker".

The good news:  Jimmy Carter is much better at getting speed enforcement zones set up for his friends in Maryland.  Don't believe me? Then you have never driven route 50 through Trappe.  That's right:  all Jimmy, all the time.

* One of my two political regrets of all time was that I didn't reach voting age until AFTER Ronald Reagan left office.   But, I did achieve the rank of Eagle Scout the Thursday before Inauguration Day, 1989.  So my certficate and the accompanying card are both signed "Ronald Reagan".