New Cigar Label

To anyone interested, I am starting a new business.  I am starting a new cigar label that will be sold through a website and some local cigar shops.

The name:  "Para Los Niños".

I have decided to take a page of out the Stalinist Collectivism Party's playbook, and start a new cigar label called "para los niños".

I am inspired to create these new tobacco products -- surely to be taxed to sky-high prices -- in order to continue funding health insurance for children who attend Park School and whose parents own $500,000+ in commercial real estate, own their own businesses, and choose not to purchase health insurance for their children.

This group of people-- exemplified by those fine citizens, the Frosts, of Patterson Park -- need the support of Cigar Lovers everywhere, so that they can continue owning businesses that are really nothing more than glorified hobbies, while living in houses that according to the Maryland Department of Assessment and Taxation, are worth over $300,000.

It's our duty as cigar smokers to stand up and protect these fine people that Harry "The Gambling Mormon" Reid and Nancy "My Daddy was Owned by the Mob" Pelosi have identified as horrible victims of Big Insurance.

These people -- whose medical bills from a recent car crash weren't covered by their PIP coverage on their auto policy (even though it is required under Maryland law)  -- need the help of us stinky cigar smokers and our dirty, filthy habit to sustain their lifestyle.

Because every child whose parent can afford to own a $300,000 house and over $500,000 in commercial real estate should be able to attend The Park School for $20,000 per year-- even if they can't afford that $550 per month high-deductible health insurance policy.

And so, I do it "para los niños".

Coming soon to tobacco stores and H & R Block offices near you...