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Well, I have finally arrived back home from the Corporate Mothership in Maitland, FL. As usual, I return with an ever-increasing distaste for travel.
Some random thoughts on travel...
1. Airport security is a joke. Why do we really have to take off our shoes? Because of Richard Reed? Give me a break.
2. Can we please have consistent rules on airport security? At BWI, the screeners tell you to only put loose items in the bins. At Orlando, people put EVERYTHING in the bins. Let's make the rules the same everywhere. How about having one of the security monkeys actually standing by the line telling people what to do? You would be amazed at how stupid infrequent travelers can be... (What, there was a terrorist attack?)
3. Airlines suck. I have flown over 500,000 miles in my life-- including jaunts to Turkey, the UK (2x), and China (5x). Not to mention all over the US. Flying is no fun anymore. No fun at all. Heck, the flight attendants on Southwest don't even sing anymore. But what is more annoying is airlines complete inability to be on time. Then, the ground crews take forever to get the luggage out of the plane. BWI is the worst airport for this.
4. I can't stand Florida. I used to travel to Central Florida once a month for a week at a time. Now the place is the definition of suburban sprawl. Traffic is horrible. It takes almost 20 minutes for a complete cycle of the lights at Maitland Blvd and Summit Ave. And Florida loves to create 4-way intersections out of 4 lane roads. And, in the median, they love to build these scenic blocks.
5. I hate Florida, pt 2. It's hot and humid. Not just humid like the Eastern Shore in August (where you can literally taste the chickenshit smell from the chicken houses)-- Florida is the only place where my sunglasses fog immediately upon exiting the hotel at 7:30 AM! Whose bright friggin idea was it to settle that state?
6. Note to BWI: don't clean the freakin bathrooms until the LAST plane lands. I was tempted to drop trou and lay pipe right in the baggage claim area after one of your non-English speaking cleaning people told me I couldn't use the ONLY bathroom open in Terminal B.
7. I am a homebody. I like my bed, my kitchen, my food-- and most importantly -- my cable setup. In fact, if you are a single woman age 32-40 looking for a hard-working man whose idea of a fun evening is staying home wih the little lady, pouring a real good whiskey, and watching "To Have and Have Not" on the boob-tube-- I'm your guy. Not only do I hate travelling, I hate being away from home, period.
8. If Amtrak could pry their head from their asses, and make the AutoTrain $400 roundtrip, you'd have me hooked for life. I hate rental cars. Has anyone driven the Chevy Malibu? Hertz considers it a full size. I consider it a tin box. "Ford Taurus or equivalent" my ass. I own a Ford Taurus. Chevy Malibu, you are no Ford Taurus.
9. I hate Florida, pt 3. It was so hot in Florida when I arrived on Monday, that the clothes in my suitcase were superheated sitting in the trunk until I got to the hotel that night. I had to use the freezer in my room (I usually stay at one of the extended stay places) to cool down a t-shirt and shorts.
10. Pre-boarders. Hey, i get the whole idea of pre-boarding, although I think they are too lenient in who they allow. But let's try this: if you want to pre-board, you have to sit in the BACK of the plane.
I am glad to be home. My flight was 80 minutes late. My sleep schedule is screwed up. I am grumpy.